


Don't Leave

by MourningDew



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angstangstangst, Dating, Feels, I'm dying, Marriage, kustard - Freeform, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 15:35:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MourningDew/pseuds/MourningDew
Summary: The thing about dates is that the world doesn't wait up for you to have a good time; it keeps going whether you planned to have fun or not.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing about dates is that the world doesn't wait up for you to have a good time; it keeps going whether you planned to have fun or not.
> 
> (In which their date goes badly... and triggers a downward spiral of events)

The thing about dates is that the world doesn't wait up for you to have a good time; it keeps going whether you planned to have fun or not.

  
Which is why Sans and Red were standing just inside a cheap store, staring out at the rain pouring from the sky. They'd been on their way to a nice restaurant, worried about the clouds, but they'd foolishly waved it off and went anyway.

  
They spent a few minutes watching the rain and trying to shove down the disappointment they felt; neither wanted to cry in front of the other. (Plus, this was such a stupid thing to cry over...)

  
Red offered his hand for a shortcut, which Sans took, and teleported them to the restaurant without incident and with dry clothes.

  
They went through the process of being seated and taking orders, but the universe decided to strike again. They were out of what Sans wanted; Red seemed pissed about it, but thankfully didn't speak up. Sans changed orders and by the time he looked back to Red, there was a mix of worry, fear, and disappointment written all over his face.

  
"...red..." he didn't like how Red jumped, as if he pulled him out of something deep and dark, "you okay?"

  
"hm? yeah. why?"

  
Sans tugged his sleeves under the table, "y'seem... off. just... is there something wrong?" He went on before Red could speak, "honesty, please..."

  
Red was quiet for a moment before sighing and nodding, "i'm okay. i'm fine. don't worry about me."

  
Sans could only say 'okay' and move on; Red was shutting him out and he wouldn't get in unless Red  _let_ him in.

  
He'd ended up asking again at the end of their meal, but Red only said he was upset that they didn't have what Sans wanted. (It seemed like a strange thing to be upset over, but he didn't question it; Red already seemed secretive enough) He tried to reassure Red and say that all was okay, but he had a feeling it didn't work as well as it usually did.

They were supposed to have gone to the park next, but it was still raining; Red, again, seemed a little too upset about it. Sans got concerned enough that he clapped his hand down on Red's shoulder and announced that they were going to the Dollar Store and buying an umbrella. (They were cheap and wouldn't last long, but that was the point; they only needed to use it once)

  
The umbrella actually worked great; they got to walk with their sides pressed together and no more than a few drops ever touched them. The walk in the park got a far different atmosphere than planned, but it wasn't unpleasant. Only more... sober. Calming, maybe.

  
...That is until their shoes got soaked.

  
Disappointment touched both of their souls, but Sans still kept things calm and as pleasant as he could manage. He offered bowling since you got to put on spare shoes, but... unexpectedly, Red denied it and said they should just go home. He sounded defeated.

  
Once they were safe and dry, Sans was quick to ask Red if he was okay; he wasn't going to take 'i'm fine' for an answer. Surprisingly, Red instead said, "it's gonna be... fine. we can just do this another day. it's... yeah. it's fine." He stuffed his hands into his pockets and sighed, "...i'm sorry."

  
Sans had  _no idea_ what the sudden emotions was about. "hey- hey... it's okay. why r'you sorry...?" When Red didn't answer, he prodded him, "red...? hey... d'you-"

  
"i'm just... _sorry._  ...i'll- ...i'll do it another day..." Red was mumbling by the end, but Sans still managed to hear him.

  
"do what another day?"

  
...Silence.

  
Red never did answer that question. Whenever Sans prodded him, he always got a disappointed, fearing look for his troubles. (He was worried.)

  
He never learned the answer.

  
It always felt like something huge had gone over his head, but... he just couldn't find it.


	2. Bad Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta read by sansytheskeleton

Red started closing himself off after their ruined date.

Where he would usually lay a comforting touch to Sans's shoulder, he gave a guilty look and a shrug. 

Where Red would usually smile and laugh at one of Sans's dumb jokes, he would instead give a weak... pity chuckle, in all honesty (or maybe the pity was directed toward himself.)

Red just...  _wasn't himself._ It's like the Red Sans loved had been washed away by the rain that ruined their date. 

Papyrus was acting sketchy too; always giving Red looks and trying too hard to be uplifting.

Sans  _knew_ he missed something important on that day, but whenever he asked, he was just... brushed off. "It's fine." "Nothing happened." "Don't worry about it." (Sometimes he would get another apology- not a normal one, though; lately, Red's apologies were  _heavy._ )

No one was telling him anything and, honestly, he was getting sick of not knowing. 

"red come  _on._ _please_ just talk to me." 

"i dunno what y'wanna hear, but-"

"i just want the  _truth._ "

That finally got a reaction out of him (Red had been getting steadily more impassive the longer this went on; Sans was worried). He winced and seemed to deflate. "...i'm- i'm sorry, sans. ... _really._ i am. i...-"

"stop saying you're  _sorry_ and just...! tell me what's  _wrong..._ " he swallowed thickly, "whatever... w-whatever's going on, it's not  _healthy._... _mentally._ so come  _on._ " Desperation was beginning to show in his voice; the sound of it seemed to strike a chord with Red.

"......oh." 

"...what?"

Red was silent for a minute, "...n-nothing. and... i'm sorry. i'll... try to be, uh... better about this. i'm- i'm  _sorry._...i'm trying to... yeah." 

Sans tried to keep the conversation going- to get  _something_ out of Red, but everything else he said was shut down. He just wanted to know how to  _help;_ no one would tell him what was going on, leaving him alone and in the dark. No one would listen, no one acknowledged the fact that honesty was actually  _important,_ and no one but Sans noticed how Red grew more defensive every day. Not only defensive, but he was also prone to anger (Sans had been tempted to make a 'who are you and what have you done with Red' joke, but he just... couldn't; the situation was too serious and joking about it felt like a slap to the face).

It was only a few days later that Red  _actually_ brought up the subject (two days after Sans had given up on asking).

They were both sat across from each other at the kitchen table; it felt so official it was terrifying. Red was shaking a little. Eventually though, he spoke, "sans... i know i've been... bad. and... and i'm  _so, so, so sorry for that._ " The only reason Sans didn't interrupt with 'you said that already' is because Red was finally the one to start the damn conversation. "so... since... i-i mean...... i've noticed how this has affected you." 

Sans blinked and felt a rush of frustration that he hated; he hated himself for feeling it. "how long'd it take you?" 

Red seemed stung before it slowly melted into acceptance. "...ouch, but, uh... h-heh. yeah. awhile... way too long."

"i'll say."  _Stars,_ he didn't want to be this mean, but his emotions were dictating him; he'd shoved them down for so long that he'd lost control. "...sorry."

"no. it's fine. yer right. you-"

"no, i'm not-"

"-have every right to think and say-"

"-you had  _reasons_ for- for-"

"-what ya did and-"

" _red."_

They both fell into a tense silence, breathing shaky. Neither wanted to fight, but emotions had been high for a long time now. They'd been avoiding each other and apologizing and skirting around what they should've just  _talked about_ (...Red was the one that was avoiding; Sans had  _tried_ to get him to talk, but it never worked. ...He felt guilty for blaming Red, even though it was Red's fault).

Red sighed, "...look. i asked y'to... ta sit down so we could, uh... talk and..." he trailed off for a long moment; he seemed defeated, "...and i've got something. to... ta say. uh... do. something i should've done...  _way_ before any of this even happened... ugh."

...Was he finally going to be honest? His wording was... worrying (there was a sick feeling in Sans's soul; he wanted to stop Red from speaking and he didn't know why).

Finally, Red spoke, "...i'm breaking up with you."

...

.......

...What?

Since Sans was silent, Red continued (though it looked like doing so made him sick), "...sorry. and- and i know we've shared a lot of... of h-happy... happy memories, but... there's- ...i just... can't do this. i-"

"can't do  _what?_ ...what  _happened,_ red?"  _What happened...!?_

Red cringed, "nothing. i- i mean-"

"don't break u-up with people over  _nothing...!"_

"i- i know! i didn't mean that. i was just- i was panicking. i'm sorry." 

Another tense, silent moment passed (they were both breathing hard- neither had noticed until now)

Sans was next to speak, " _why...?"_...It was the  _only thing_ he wanted to know. He could never tie Red down to him; he would  _never_ keep him against his will (plenty of people have already done things to Red that Red didn't consent to; Sans would  _not_ be one of those people- no matter  _what_ happens). 

"...i've... made some bad choices," Red said slowly. 

 Sans wanted to cut in and say 'isn't  _this_ one of those bad choices?' ...but he couldn't; he'd promised himself a  _long_ time ago that he would never force Red into things he didn't want (...even though it was  _killing him_ to stay silent).

It was quiet for a long time after that, both of them trying to find words that would make things better, but there was nothing to say. Even if Red changed his mind and decided to stay in the relationship, it would never be the same careless, happy thing again. There would always be a dark cloud hanging in the back of their minds.

 So things continued like this for awhile; they'd been living together too, and it'd been  _great_ for  _so long..._ but now they avoided each other and kept their eyes down. Neither knew how to act anymore and everything was awkward and stiff and  _wrong._

It took awhile for Red to move out, since he'd been  _living_ there. All his things were spread out and frequently used, so it was hard to gather it all (even once Red would be gone, Sans would come across something he'd left behind and it would  _hurt_ and it wouldn't stop hurting for a long time afterwards). 

When Red finally, officially, moved out, their goodbye was tense. They'd been silent and simply bringing things out to the car, not touching each other the whole time (they'd once discussed moving somewhere bigger and better to live a happier life with more space, but... now the memory was bitter and tainted).

It was only when Red was standing next to the driver's door with his hand on the handle that Sans finally couldn't take it anymore; he stepped forward and kept his eyes down, laying a single hand on Red's arm. A couple silent seconds passed before Red moved closer as well. They both only kept moving closer until they were holding each other in a hug so tight it hurt; neither budged an inch for a long time afterwards, though.

Sans was oddly numb when he watched Red pull out of the driveway for the last time. The next few days were spent in a similar state; he would wake up and automatically, habitually roll over to be closer to Red, only to find no one there (he didn't know this, but Red did the same thing, wherever he was). It always sent him into a bitter, numb state of mind. 

The numb feeling finally broke when Papyrus was over to keep him company (Papyrus often worried over both of them, trying to keep both of them in good spirits; it was hard on him since they were both so depressed at once. He didn't give up, though. Thank stars for Papyrus).

They'd been having fun for once, making puns and pasta and just... being brothers again, without anything else going through their minds. Sans had accidentally dropped a plate that shattered over the floor; it was one of their favorites, too.

It felt like Sans shattered along with the plate. 

Papyrus had immediately started reassuring him that it was okay and that they could just get a new one- he knew where they sold them- but Sans had stopped breathing and his head felt fuzzy. 

Time had slowed down while he dropped it, fear and desperation going through him and the final, loud shatter had jolted him back to reality. 

All the pain hit him at once. 

It took a long time for him to calm down after that; it took three blankets, a bottle of ketchup, and almost forty minutes of hugging (he'd  _loved_ Red- he'd  ** _loved_** him  ** _so much._** Why did he leave!?).

"i-i just- i don't- i don't  _understand._ e-everything was... everything was going  _great_ and he was  _happy_ but then- then everything went wrong at once...! a-and-... p-pap...?" Sans had faltered and broken off when he heard Papyrus make a tight noise.

"...I'm... sorry, Sans."

"...what...? n-no. you- you didn't-" 

"There's something I should've told you." Papyrus sighed slowly, running his hand down his face, "I didn't think it was right to, because  _Red_ should've been the one to tell you, but... he never did, and now it's hurt you. ...I'm sorry."

"...what is it...?" He didn't think he wanted to know, but he  _had_ to know (he was lying to himself; he  _desperately_ wanted to know).

"Red had wanted to propose to you on that date, Sans."

...What.

"He'd been planning for  _months_ for the perfect date... He'd been so  _terrified_ and it'd taken  _hours_ of encouragement to convince him that it was the right thing to do. He'd planned for  _days_ to make sure it would be perfect."

... _What._

"...But then it rained and they didn't have whatever it was you'd wanted from the menu and things just... went  _wrong._ Red had wanted it to be perfect. Even though he shouldn't have reacted the way he did... I understand how crushed he was. If it was me, I would sure be upset...! ...Nyeh..." 

"...heh... um. what...?"

Papyrus sighed slowly, "I believe Red broke up with you out of fear. Fear of messing it up again or you finding out what he'd meant to do and rejecting him..." 

And the best part was that it made sense; Red was  _always_ avoiding the things that terrified him (everything from proposing to the laundry, apparently).

 Sans ended up shutting Papyrus out after that, even going so far as to ask for some time alone; Pap had been reluctant to leave, but eventually sighed and complied (he didn't look happy about it; Sans felt guilty for making him leave, but it was muted under the shock and pain).

...Red had wanted to  _marry him._

...But ended up  _breaking up with him_ over it. 

...

It wasn't  _fair._

_It wasn't fair._

If Red would've just  _talked_ to him or  _listened_ when Sans tried to cheer him up, this could've ended so  _differently._ They could've  _actually_ had a  _future_ together if Red would've just- if Red would've-

...If  _Sans_ would've. 

If Sans would've just let him have his space and let him calm down. 

If Sans hadn't gotten upset. 

If Sans would've just  _supported_ him instead of letting his emotions rule over him. 

_Stars._

_He **hated** himself. _

He hated so many things; he hated that Red wouldn't tell him what was wrong, he hated that he broke the plate, he hated that he hurt Papyrus, he hated that Red left him, he hated that his shitty choices fucked up  _marriage_ for him, he hated  _everything_ (he didn't hate Red; he could never hate Red).

...He hated this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red had wanted to propose to Sans on that date, but after everything went wrong, he had to call it off. He should've been fine, but he'd been putting ALL of his resources and courage into that date. He'd even planned for the proposal to be cheesy and under the stars.  
> But then it wasn't perfect- it wasn't perfect like he thought Sans deserved; in his mind, Sans only deserved the best and most perfect things.  
> So, when nothing worked out and it was called off, he couldn't help but feel depressed over it; he'd looked forward to that for So Long, but it just didn't work out.  
> He drew into himself more and more and it was Sans getting frustrated with him that snapped him out of it, though it made him realize something terrible...  
> He was hurting Sans by distancing himself.  
> Hurting Sans was the last thing he EVER wanted to do, so in an effort to protect Sans... he decided to eliminate the problem; himself.  
> In Red's eyes, RED was the problem.  
> So he cut himself out of the picture.


End file.
